Renee Mill talks about Achieving Calm in Busy Lives.
When you attend, you will find that not only will you nourish your soul, but you be stimulated and enlightened by the topics. Looking forward to seeing you.
Date: Saturday 21, August
Time: 8:00pm
Venue: 23 Denman Ave, East St Kilda
Cost: $5 donation
Self- improvement has been a focus since the 1970s and hundreds of of books and approaches have been disseminated to this end.
Jewish mysticism, for the layman, offers a unique approach to self-improvement and this will be the focus of my upcoming lectures in the Spirit in the Cityseries. Over the months we will be focusing on different emotions which may be difficult for us and on character traits which everybody desires to have.
The lesson on 18 August 2010 will be based on the importance of daily self improvements.
When you attend, you will find that not only will you nourish your soul, but you be stimulated and enlightened by the topics. Looking forward to seeing you.
Date: Wednesday, 18 August
Time: 12.30pm
Venue: CBD Chabad, Level 4, 199 Clarance Street, Sydney
by Renee Mill, Clinical Psychologist - Originally published in HealthSmart, August 2010
Grrrrrrrrr! Is your child a Jekyll and Hyde – rude and argumentative with you, but charm personified with others? Clinical psychologist Renée Mill has tips to tame your teen.
Don’t be afraid:
Remember at all times that you are the parent: be decisive; be clear; be authoritative – even if you don’t feel it, eg. “I expect you to speak to me in a friendly manner and not to growl at me.” Have boundaries, and reinforce them if your teen disrespects them EG: “I cannot listen to you when you use that tone. Please start again and speak in a friendly manner.” Don’t give threats – you’ll lose credibility. Just state your expectations. Over time, your teenager will respect the setting of limits.
Repetition, repetition, repetition:
If you give up on your message, so will they. With repetition, you have every chance of success eventually. Each time your adolescent is disrespectful, restate your expectations. You can vary this. EG : “I cannot hear you,” “Respect, please,” or “Call me when you can talk appropriately.”
Be realistic and choose appropriate battles:
Most teenagers are messy. Either clean up after them or ignore the mess, but don’t waste time trying to make them clean. Save your energy for the big things, such as respect for you and themselves, or their work ethic.
Partner power:
If your partner is the other parent or carer, it’s vital you agree on values and expectations for your child. If you’re estranged from the other parent, still try to agree on these points – adolescents exploit vulnerabilities.
Walk the talk:
Practise what you preach: if you smoke, don’t expect your children not to do the same.
See through the façade:
Most importantly, never stop loving your child. Over time, love and a deep connection will motivate even the most difficult adolescent to try to please you. So try to do things together, get in touch with your inner adolescent, and chill. You never know … you might even enjoy it!
Renee on ABC Radio
After this article appeared in HealthSmart the ABC Radio then contacted Renée to inquire further about this topic – you can listen to this interview below:
A common misconception about bullying at schools is that the bully is fat, ugly and very unhappy. In days gone by, victims were encouraged to pity the bully who must be acting from a point of weakness and insecurity. Research today dispels this myth. Not only are bullies not necessarily ugly or unhappy, they are frequently happy and popular. It seems that aggressive youths may be more leniently assessed by their parents, teachers and peers and therefore their popularity does not decrease as a result of their hostile behaviour.
One theory is that society tends to assign positive qualities to attractive people and negative ones to those who do not fit the beauty mould. Wendy Craig, professor of psychology at Queens University in Ontario says this may explain why visible minorities are at a higher risk for bullying. She also recommends that “we need to look at the leaders in our schools and ensure that their way to power is positive”.
For the whole article visit http://www.windsorstar.com/life/parenting/Attractive+kids+excused+aggressive+behaviours/3155971/story.html
Practically speaking, this means that we need to realise that often the most powerful and popular kids are the bullies who misuse their personal power. As parents and educators we need to steer them so they use their enormous influence and power for the good. One way is to encourage them to join groups like boy scouts which teach leadership skill or community volunteer services which help others. We also need to be aware that the victims needs extra protection as they are having to face bullies with friends.
Obviously, bullying is a serious and complex issue but this study gives added information on what goes on in schools. What is your experience with bullying? What do you think of this article?
Reading to one’s child has always been seen as an important part of being a parent. Young children have traditionally loved to listen to their mother’s voice as she acts out characters in the book. Sitting with dad’s arm around you was one of growing up’s treasured times. Not only from the bonding perspective, but also from the educational perspective, reading is known to assist children develop language and to enrich their vocabulary and creative abilities.
While the love of books and reading is cultivated in the young child, it is equally important as the child grows. Involvement with reading activities has significant positive influences on reading achievement, language comprehension, expressive language skills plus attitudes towards reading and attentiveness in the classroom.
Recent research from the National Literacy trust in England found that around 80% of children who had better than expected reading skills had their own books. They also found that today 36 pupils out of 40 own a mobile phone. Looking at a drop in literacy skills in a sample of 11 year olds, researchers worry that modern technology is having a negative impact on literacy. In other words, they are concerned that resources are going into buying and maintaining a mobile phone instead of books, resulting in a drop in literacy skills.
Here are some suggestions to keep your child interested in learning and education
Do you love reading? Does your child? What are your ideas on the topic?
49 Minutes a Day
A survey reported in the BBC news on the 25th May 2010 found that parents spend on average 49 minutes a day with their children. The survey was done as a prelude to national family week in Britain next week which is being run to encourage families to spend more time together.
Whatever the source or validity of the survey, the findings based on interviewing 1000 children reinforce important age-old wisdom. For one, most children would prefer to spend time with their parents than be bought gifts. Secondly, if parents prioritise making money over family time, children tend to ape that as they get older. Third, the majority of children crave time with their fathers who still tend to be absent more than mothers.
Nothing replaces quality time with your children. Every day make time to connect and find out what your child is going through. Enjoy spending time together and make household chores joint, fun filled activities. Stay at home and play board games rather than rushing off to see a movie where you sit parallel and do not interact for 2 hours.
Here is the link to the article http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/em/fr/-/2/hi/uk_news/education/8703010.stm
Please let me know what you think about this survey.
Title: Guiding Your Child – 6 Week Parenting Course
Location: Bina, 45 Bellevue Road, Bellevue
Link out: Click here
Description: This parenting course is a comprehensive course, which will teach you to be a happier more effective parent. Too often today parents focus on “getting their child to behave” and act in response to their child misbehaviour. Renée Mill teaches that good parenting is much more holistic than that. She will teach you how to gain the cooperation of your child without tears or anger. She will also teach strategies that will have a long-term positive effect on your child’s behaviour.
Date: 2010-06-02
Title: CBT Group – Anger Therapy
Location: Suite B – Ground Floor – 80 – 84 New South Head Road, Edgecliff
Link out: Click here
Description: The course is run by registered psychologist Renee Mill, and aims to empower those suffering from anger issues to make effective changes in their lives that will enable them to reduce their anger levels long-term.
Date: 2010-06-15
Title: CBT Group – Anxiety Therapy
Location: Suite B – Ground Floor – 80 – 84 New South Head Road, Edgecliff
Link out: Click here
Description: The course is run by registered psychologist Angela Skovron, and aims to empower those suffering from anxiety to make effective changes in their lives that will enable them to reduce their anxiety long-term.
Date: 2010-05-31
