Many parents are afraid to be firm. Don’t be.
It is one of the myths debunked in my book that “being firm will damage my child’s self esteem” .
I spend a whole chapter explaining that, to the contrary, children thrive with firmness. One example of this is in the common problem of young children jumping out of bed after you have settled them for the night. Parents tell me they worry that perhaps their child is scared or anxious. If that is the case, it can be dealt with by using a night light or monitor or, if necessary, seeking professional help.
However, in most cases it is a phenomenon that is best dealt with firmly. First, you the parent must sincerely and whole-heartedly believe in the benefits of: being firm, going to bed routinely, falling asleep quickly and having a long night’s sleep. Then you can calmly and assertively insist your child goes back to bed no matter what excuses she gives. The earlier you do this the better. When children are small enough to be carried back to bed, it may be necessary for you to carry them back to their bed in order to show that you mean business. You may even need to repeat this until your child gives up, usually it is a three day exercise.
In this way you calmly and lovingly demonstrate to your child that you are the captain of your ship, and you know what benefits your child. You also show that you are strong enough emotionally and physically to protect your child. Watch your child thrive after three days.
What do you think? Are you afraid to be firm? Do you worry it is harmful?
You can download a free PDF (535KB) of the myths discussed in No Sweat Parenting and affirmations to help you overcome them by clicking here.
